Welcome to the Beautiful World of Au’Pearce

For far too long, I have put everyone else before me. I made sure everyone else was taken care of that I forgot to take care of myself. I gave so much of me that I became a shell of myself. I felt empty. Even with lack of self-abundance, I was still picked and prodded. It wasn’t enough for them to take my tangible strength, but they became hungrier and reliant enough that they tapped into my intangible strengths, resulting in their depletion. I had become so empty, physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially, and the like, that I had become a walking shadow. Someone that may have been noticeable to others but not to me. 

Well. I am back in full flesh, and I dare a person try to pick and prod me. I am whole and will forever be holistic, mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. It’s time for me to embrace the most powerful word in the dictionary, NO. Better yet, HELL NO.  When I do things, I do them because I want to and because they are going to benefit me. When I say something, I say what I mean and mean what I say. Like it or not, I don’t care what others think or say about me. I am me and will forever be me. No on in this world could be a better me no matter what. No on in this world could tell me how to live my life, make decisions on my life, run my life, nor ruin my life. I am in control of my destiny. In the words of Mary J. Blige, “my life, my life, my life.” I will endlessly be in control of my life. I will continue to perpetuate self-control and who I associate myself with and when. I owe no one anything, and until others stop feeling as though others, or the world owes them something, and stop looking for handouts, then they will be able to live their lives holistically, whereby being their true and authentic self. They will be able to progress, become established and accomplished, and successfully maneuver through life.

I say this to say that it is time to make some drastic life changes and if you are not for me then you have no place in my life. If you wish to speak negatively about me, my achievements, and accomplishments then you are not supposed to be in my life. If you are not willing to protect and stand up for me, then its best we go our separate ways. My aim, and novice objective from here and from now on, is to only have positive individuals in my life, even if this results into my being alone and friendless. I am a true and authentic supporter and will support individuals that I am close with and who are continually and effortfully trying to get ahead in life, those who are not stagnant or always have their hands out. 

When you go through life trying to please others it really takes a toll over your cognitive and emotional health. You find yourself in a slump. In an undesired mental turmoil or funk. You have allowed others to transfer their negative onto you. You have others to use their negative attitude to overshadow your optimism, whereas not you find yourself feeling down. You become stressed. The acuteness of the stress resulting in depression. You find yourself being dissociative, mentally disengaged, and engaging in self-isolating behaviors. But why. Why have you allowed another person or a situation that you can control to bring you down. STOP. When others start talking that negative shit, stop them in their tracks. Tell them to turn that negative energy into positive energy and use their life happenings and circumstances to their advantage.  Ruminating on negativity is not healthy and can send you into dark places and result in dark thinking. Let all of the negativities go. It is not a crime to take back your life. It is not a sin. It is your distinctive right to live and lead a positive life whereas increasing your life longevity, life satisfaction, health, and wealth. You deserve to be happy. Even if you have to remind yourself every single day. Happiness should be at the top of your list of everyday achievements. Happiness is a method of being selfish. Be selfish. If you see others in a mental bind where they wallow in their own pity, get the hell out of dodge. Let them figure life out. You are not a professional. However, there are times when others need to be talked off the ledge. Throw in a few encouraging words. Let that person know that regardless of what their situation is, they better believe that someone is experiencing or have experienced the same or a similar situation. Better yet, a large portion of the population is worse off than they are. 

What people don’t realize is that when you reach a certain level of success, it is inevitable that at some point you will fall short. That means that you have become too relaxed in your position and wealth. That means that if you did it once then you can do it again. Life is all about lessons. It up to you to learn from those lessons. Life is also about you being selfish at times in your life even if it means being alone. Be selfish. Be alone. You deserve that much. You don’t always have to ensure that others are ok. Afterall, who’s making sure that you are OK, if you are not. 

Surround yourself with others that have something to offer. even if its simply encouraging words or good advice and vice versa. Just because words and advise is exchanged, that does not mean that you are speaking to persons that will stay or stick in your life. Speak up or shut up. In some cases, people will ignore you, but you have better to believe they heard you. We live in a world where our experiences are distinct. Daily we are challenged and may face complexities, some more frequent than others. Talk to individuals. Afterall, you do not know what they are going through. We never know what tomorrow will bring or who we may be speaking to. Tomorrow you may need advice or encouraging words. The person that you might be talking to, or comforting may be a disciple. The person that you are speaking to may be the Lord Jesus Christ himself, disguised but in the flesh. The person that you are encouraging or sharing your experiences with may be a person of wealth, those that can ignite your blessings, move mountains out of your path, and send you on a pleasurable and life fulfilling journey that you never thought was possible. 

Be selfish. Be alone. Being alone does not necessarily equate to being lonely. Know when to associate and disassociate yourself. Be mindful. Stop giving your all to others that are undeserving or who does not reciprocate. Take care of you first. Remove yourself from negative situations, ungratefulness, and leeches. Think positive and remain optimistic. When you take care of yourself and surround yourself with affluent, go-getters, authentic, and supportive friends and family members you increase your health, wealth, life longevity, as well as life satisfaction. For me personally. I chose me over all else. When I am happy then everyone else around me will be happy, as the negative energy and thinking will immediately dissipate. I chose to have increased health, wealth, life satisfaction and life longevity. You have a choice. What will it be?

To the DAD Dads

To the Dog Dads

To the Turtle Dads

To the Frog Dads

To the Cat Dads

To the Step-Dads

To the Foster Dads

To the Good Dads

To the Wannabe Dads

To the Proud Dads

To the Dad-Uncle Dads =Daduncle’s

To the Super Dads

To the Single Dads

To the Ready to Mingle Dads

To the Soccer Dads

To the Hardworking Dads

To the Traveling Dads

To the Service Dads

To the I GOT THIS Dads

To the Present Dad

To the Supportive Dad

TO ALL TYPES OF DADS

Know that YOU are appreciated

LET US ALL ENJOY THIS MOMENT AND CELEBRATE JUNETEENTH LIKE ITS JUNE 19TH FOR THE REMAINDER OF OUR EXISTENCE…. GO DRINK AND ENGAGE IN WHATEVER PLEASURABLE PROCLIVITIES YOU WISH… JUST KNOW THAT WE WILL CONTINUE TO BE UNITED AND TOGETHER WE WILL CONTINUE TO STAND UP FOR OUR RIGHTS AND OUR FREEDOM… WHO EVER WE ARE….

LET US NOT PAUSE AND HAVE A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR THOSE WHO FOUGHT OUR BATTLE, THE SAME ONE WE CONTINUE TO FIGHT TODAY.

LET US STAND UP AND REJOICE AND LIFT OUR VOICES IN WAYS THAT WE THOUGHT WAS IMPOSSIBLE. WE CAN BREATHE.

While being in a relationship, have you ever taken the time to sit down and write out the good and bad things about your intimate partnerships and close friendships? Most people would answer no to this question. What if you took a few moments to do this now? What do you think would be the end results? Would the good outweigh the bad, or would the results be reversed?

What if the good outweighed the bad? Does this mean that you are in a healthy and satisfying relationship? Most would say, of course. But what most fail to realize is that all individuals possess distinctive meanings of what it means to be in a satisfactory romantic partnership, or even friendship, whereas characteristics shift with personalities. 

Being in a healthily and potentially long-lasting relationship or friendship means the relationship or connection needs to be equal between the two people. The decision-making process should be an even split, even if it is a compromise from time to time. Partners or friends must have compassion toward one another. They must be willing to support and look out for one’s best interest. They must have mutual and indisputable trust and respect for one another. Most importantly, each partner or friend should feel protected. 

Each partner will inevitably make decisions without consulting the other partner within the relationship. That is ok as long as that decision does not detrimentally affect that person’s physical, mental, financial, or emotional capacity. But, when a single individual goes off and makes a decision that would put them both in jeopardy, then Houston, we definitely have a problem. Decision-making processes are a unified effort and are not conclusive to a one-size-fits-all or depend on a single person in the relationship making decisions independently. I mean, doesn’t independent decision-making indicate that no one else is involved or will be affected.

Vigorous and quality relationships and friendships add to life satisfaction. These supportive and trusting relationships and friendships are those that people will effortlessly sustain and fight for. The parties involved would never allow a third party to come in and disrespect or bad-mouth their friend or romantic partner, or spouse. Healthy relationships are those with unbreakable bonds. No one person has priority or authority over the other person respectively. However, it goes without saying that even stable affiliations and alliances go through tumultuous discord or emotional turbulence. In sum, they fight and have disagreements. But they find ways to mend their vexation and problems. In most healthy relationships, partners and friendships fight fair. They don’t hit below the belt. They don’t threaten separation, irreconciliation, or violence. They work it out, whereas the end results benefit both parties involved.

What if the bad stack up against the good? Then what? Does that mean you are in a toxic relationship of friendship? Does this mean that your connections are unhealthy or dissatisfying? Most persons would suggest that it does. Nonetheless, it all depends. 

Some of the signs that you are in an unhealthy relationship are when you have a partner that is manipulative, controlling, dishonest, insecure, and codependent. An unwholesome relationship tends to be lopsided. It is a dissociative bond on one part. One person tends to get the bulk of abuse, mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. Moreover, they also tend to carry the most weight in the relationship or friendship. Some characteristics defining unhealthy behavior or actions in relationships or friendships are as follows:

A Manipulative individual is characterized by scrupulous power over a situation or person. The hegemony act is used as a method to feel superior while subjecting others or something to an inferiority disposition.

A Controller is a person who has direct control over all situations, circumstances, and persons in his or her life. These persons take full responsibility over finances, relationships, business ventures, friendships, among other things. Controllers avoid relationships with other controlling individuals and essentially associate themselves with subservient, submissive, can take orders, or follow their lead. Let’s not confuse a controller as being a leader, whereas leaders possess great qualities where the benefits are spread evenly among group members. A controller does not care about the interest of others where he or she reap the majority of the benefits or engage in activities that are more likely to stroke their ego or even place them under a luminous light. 

Dishonesty essentially refers to intentional deceitfulness and fraudulence. In a single adjective, deliberate duplicity act or behavior means being a liar, fake, phony, and falsifier. In relationships, partners may lie, not realizing the consequences that fib could potentially have on the relationship. Being dishonest in a relationship jeopardizes both trust and respect. 

Insecurity is related to a person who lacks self-confidence or self-assurance. These are persons who are uncertain about who they are and their worth. They are also frequently and silently anxious. This type of personal characteristic is stemmed from childhood upbringing, critical parents, previous experiences, loneliness, rejection, past trauma, and self-doubt. Insecure individuals tend to possess an insecure attachment style, thus being anxious, avoidant, and fearfully-avoidant. One major characteristic associated with insecure attachment is disorganization and ambivalence.

Codependency is when an individual develops an increased emotional or psychological dependence or reliance on the other partner. This could me mandating needed support under various situations and circumstances.

If a person possesses any of these characteristics, then the situation needs to be addressed and soon. Most persons may be afraid to say something, whereas they sweep the problem under the rug, turn the other cheek, or simply fail to acknowledge or reveal that they are experiencing relational mayhem. They are afraid to speak up, which only suggests that they have become voiceless, reticent in their partnership. They have become misplaced and perplexed.

There are numerous relationships globally where interrelational partners and friends sit down and generate a list related to the qualities and adversities where the bad outweighs the good. Don’t get me wrong, there are also a plethora of relationships and friendships that are authentic or organic, and that is lovely. Absolutely amazing. This is not to suggest that relationships and friends are perfect, probably far from it. It just means that you have developed a trusting, respectful, and honest bond. One that cannot be broken no matter who comes or go. 

Being in a relationship where the bad outweighs the good means that the associations need work. Otherwise, it will result in everlasting mental and relational detriments. So, the next time you think about your relationships, sit down and make a list. Have your partner or friend(s) make one as well and make a comparison. Doing this activity can become an underlying method to improve the quality of your relationships, whereas the “bad outweighing the good” can find a significant resolve.