Me First: Being Selfish

For far too long, I have put everyone else before me. I made sure everyone else was taken care of that I forgot to take care of myself. I gave so much of me that I became a shell of myself. I felt empty. Even with lack of self-abundance, I was still picked and prodded. It wasn’t enough for them to take my tangible strength, but they became hungrier and reliant enough that they tapped into my intangible strengths, resulting in their depletion. I had become so empty, physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially, and the like, that I had become a walking shadow. Someone that may have been noticeable to others but not to me. 

Well. I am back in full flesh, and I dare a person try to pick and prod me. I am whole and will forever be holistic, mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. It’s time for me to embrace the most powerful word in the dictionary, NO. Better yet, HELL NO.  When I do things, I do them because I want to and because they are going to benefit me. When I say something, I say what I mean and mean what I say. Like it or not, I don’t care what others think or say about me. I am me and will forever be me. No on in this world could be a better me no matter what. No on in this world could tell me how to live my life, make decisions on my life, run my life, nor ruin my life. I am in control of my destiny. In the words of Mary J. Blige, “my life, my life, my life.” I will endlessly be in control of my life. I will continue to perpetuate self-control and who I associate myself with and when. I owe no one anything, and until others stop feeling as though others, or the world owes them something, and stop looking for handouts, then they will be able to live their lives holistically, whereby being their true and authentic self. They will be able to progress, become established and accomplished, and successfully maneuver through life.

I say this to say that it is time to make some drastic life changes and if you are not for me then you have no place in my life. If you wish to speak negatively about me, my achievements, and accomplishments then you are not supposed to be in my life. If you are not willing to protect and stand up for me, then its best we go our separate ways. My aim, and novice objective from here and from now on, is to only have positive individuals in my life, even if this results into my being alone and friendless. I am a true and authentic supporter and will support individuals that I am close with and who are continually and effortfully trying to get ahead in life, those who are not stagnant or always have their hands out. 

When you go through life trying to please others it really takes a toll over your cognitive and emotional health. You find yourself in a slump. In an undesired mental turmoil or funk. You have allowed others to transfer their negative onto you. You have others to use their negative attitude to overshadow your optimism, whereas not you find yourself feeling down. You become stressed. The acuteness of the stress resulting in depression. You find yourself being dissociative, mentally disengaged, and engaging in self-isolating behaviors. But why. Why have you allowed another person or a situation that you can control to bring you down. STOP. When others start talking that negative shit, stop them in their tracks. Tell them to turn that negative energy into positive energy and use their life happenings and circumstances to their advantage.  Ruminating on negativity is not healthy and can send you into dark places and result in dark thinking. Let all of the negativities go. It is not a crime to take back your life. It is not a sin. It is your distinctive right to live and lead a positive life whereas increasing your life longevity, life satisfaction, health, and wealth. You deserve to be happy. Even if you have to remind yourself every single day. Happiness should be at the top of your list of everyday achievements. Happiness is a method of being selfish. Be selfish. If you see others in a mental bind where they wallow in their own pity, get the hell out of dodge. Let them figure life out. You are not a professional. However, there are times when others need to be talked off the ledge. Throw in a few encouraging words. Let that person know that regardless of what their situation is, they better believe that someone is experiencing or have experienced the same or a similar situation. Better yet, a large portion of the population is worse off than they are. 

What people don’t realize is that when you reach a certain level of success, it is inevitable that at some point you will fall short. That means that you have become too relaxed in your position and wealth. That means that if you did it once then you can do it again. Life is all about lessons. It up to you to learn from those lessons. Life is also about you being selfish at times in your life even if it means being alone. Be selfish. Be alone. You deserve that much. You don’t always have to ensure that others are ok. Afterall, who’s making sure that you are OK, if you are not. 

Surround yourself with others that have something to offer. even if its simply encouraging words or good advice and vice versa. Just because words and advise is exchanged, that does not mean that you are speaking to persons that will stay or stick in your life. Speak up or shut up. In some cases, people will ignore you, but you have better to believe they heard you. We live in a world where our experiences are distinct. Daily we are challenged and may face complexities, some more frequent than others. Talk to individuals. Afterall, you do not know what they are going through. We never know what tomorrow will bring or who we may be speaking to. Tomorrow you may need advice or encouraging words. The person that you might be talking to, or comforting may be a disciple. The person that you are speaking to may be the Lord Jesus Christ himself, disguised but in the flesh. The person that you are encouraging or sharing your experiences with may be a person of wealth, those that can ignite your blessings, move mountains out of your path, and send you on a pleasurable and life fulfilling journey that you never thought was possible. 

Be selfish. Be alone. Being alone does not necessarily equate to being lonely. Know when to associate and disassociate yourself. Be mindful. Stop giving your all to others that are undeserving or who does not reciprocate. Take care of you first. Remove yourself from negative situations, ungratefulness, and leeches. Think positive and remain optimistic. When you take care of yourself and surround yourself with affluent, go-getters, authentic, and supportive friends and family members you increase your health, wealth, life longevity, as well as life satisfaction. For me personally. I chose me over all else. When I am happy then everyone else around me will be happy, as the negative energy and thinking will immediately dissipate. I chose to have increased health, wealth, life satisfaction and life longevity. You have a choice. What will it be?


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