Au'Pearce

Tag: Self-Determination

  • Relationships Toxicity & Detoxification

    Relational toxicity is about you being in a relationship and not having any direction of which way to go in life and lacking the necessary self-assurance and self-worth, and self-actualization.

    Being in a self-isolating and self-manipulating relationship is one of the worst types of relationships that one could ever experience. In particular, when you have developed an anti-escapism attitude or mindset. 

    You may feel as though you do not have the mental capability to escape relational toxicity, which is mentally draining and can significantly lead to increased bouts of anxiety, stress, and depression. 

    Too often, we are the persons that get in the way of ourselves, feeling dazed and confused.

    Too often, we are a result of our own diminished self-worth. 

    Too often, we are the person that is holding us back from achieving a particular goal, completing specific tasks, or reaching our fullest potential that yields the process of us becoming self-authenticated or individualized.

    Too often, we try to blame others when we face shortcomings or life challenges resulting in setbacks. However, when examining the reality, it has been you sitting on your hands, having two left feet, allowing your blessings to pass you by, or digging ourselves in deeper holes without a rope, ladder, or lifeline. 

    Too many times, we look to others to save us from ourselves. 

    But when are you going to start saving yourself? 

    We, as humans, fail. 

    We, as humans, fall to victimization instead of succumbing to the realization that we are your own master of your universe. You are in the driver’s seat. You are responsible for your own life, no one else.

    Let me ask you a question.

    If you could trust anyone in the world, a physical being, to be a narrator of your life, who would it be?

    Be mindful that you are an option in these limitless or limited possibilities. 

    It’s comical that so many people try to instill in you that life is worth living, but how is that acceptable when the person or persons telling you that they have yet to live.

    Instead, they live vicariously through other people, not having experienced their true self or knowing what they want out of life or how to get there. 

    So, can these persons really tell you how you should live or maneuver your way through life when they lack direction themselves?

    Probably not.

    Maneuvering through life is more than being in toxic or even healthy relationships. 

    Successfully maneuvering through life is all about self-purification. This means getting rid of all the toxins in your body, inside and out. 

    Yes, this means working from the inside out. 

    You have to be mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally ready inside. 

    This way, you can develop the mental strength to move external factors that are toxic without guilt.

    Life is about living. 

    Life is about inevitably coming into contact with toxic individuals. 

    But life is all about you knowing how and having the strength to remove yourself from those situations.

    Life is about believing in yourself and a higher power, or otherwise. 

    It’s a fact that different spiritualities and religious believers believe that their God is distinct, and one has more power than the others. It does not matter. The only thing that matters is that you accept and stand in your faith and truth. 

    When you stand with your feet planted firmly in your truth and belief, all toxic relationships that you are in will start to wither away. 

    Righteous pathways will be set before you. 

    Unlocked and opened doors and windows will be presented to you. 

    Relational detoxification is about you removing specific individuals from your life so that you can become self-assured and self-actualized.

    Overcoming self-isolating and self-manipulating relationships are about shifting your mindset to escape or free yourself from those situations.

    Developing that mental capability to escape relational toxicity is about cognitive intelligence and psychological and emotional strength.   

    Let no one be a cognitive proprietor that results in you having increased bouts of anxiety, stress, and depression. 

    Stop feeling dazed and confused and find yourself.

    Find your self-worth and embrace it. 

    Stop holding yourself back and set realistic, measurable, and achievable goals. 

    Complete specific tasks, never letting anything go undone, especially if it aids in your becoming a better you. 

    Reach for the stars. 

    Engage in activities that will assist you in reaching your fullest potential, those that foster self-authenticated or individualized.

    Toxic relationships are not the fault of the persons you are with or the persons you are around. 

    Toxic relationships are a two-way street. For it to end, one person must dismiss themselves or leave the situation. 

    Let that person be you.

  • LETTER TO MY KILLER

    This is a letter directed at the person or thing that killed me with or without cause.

    On the day of my death, I never thought that when I woke up this morning it would be my last day on earth. 

    I never thought that my life would be taken by a person who was cowardly or fearful of an individual who had reason to live. 

    I never thought that my life would be taken by a person who have found their purpose, or by someone that was still looking for their purpose and place in life.  A person who was still trying to figure things out and find his or her direction. 

    Yes, I may have made mistakes along the way but those were supposed to be lessons learned. Those were supposed to be mishaps that maneuvered my direction down a righteous path. 

    The day or night that you came into my life, we could have been the best of friends, we could have shared experiences, emotions, and life’s challenges. 

    I was young striving to be the best, never looking to hurt or cause pain to another person or their family. 

    Your life shattering and unworldly act caused me and others pain, grieve, dismay.

    But regardless of such cruelty, we will forever be. We will remain alive and well, happy, in fact, while still caring, and sharing. We will continue to be physically and mentally present regardless of someone like you who will or may carry out a devilish act because you had a bad day.

    Because life has thrown you a curve ball.

    Because you were fearful or intimidated by my mere presence. 

    Because you did not get your way.

    Because someone did or said something that was not to your liking or approval.

    Shortly after you killed me, my family, friends, and those who never had the pleasure to know me, had to silently watch as I was lowered into the earth, dust to dust, again becoming a part of its immaculate core. 

    You, my killer, gave me life even though you took it away from me. 

    You, my killer, have uplifted most people spirits globally, as most people around the world now love me and celebrates the short life that I had the opportunity to live. 

    You my friend, my killer, transitioned from a man of God to a cold-hearted killer, who’s presence will forever be in vain.

    My killer, a life-snatcher, a murderer, and a person I thought was my friend or lover, or confidant, or a friend-in-my-head, you stole my life, and you may feel as though you have accomplished something in life. 

    But even though I lie restfully and chillingly in my grave, you still face life challenges.

    You are still fearful of those who look and act like me, or those who don’t let you have your way. 

    You are still traveling down wavering and uneven roads. 

    You will continually face your guilt of evil behaviors, knowing that you cannot reverse or change the situation. 

    You, will always know that you are the one who acted inhumane, unnecessarily stealing the life of another human.  

    No, I will not haunt you. 

    No, I am not mad at you.

    No, I wish you no harm.

    However, I do wish you the best, as I am not the person that you will have to answer to when it is your turn to leave the amazing world that I had the pleasure of experiencing. 

    Even though you never knew me, and you never knew my name or seen my face until it was reported that I was killed. My name, face, and the date you pulled the trigger or took my life will forever remain in your head and will taunt you for the rest of your life. Your behaviors may even implicate your career and life trajectories.

    Needless to say, even though you have been swept into societal turmoil and felt that what you did was ok, I do not hold a grudge against you. 

    My friend, you, the person which whom I may or may not have never had the pleasure of meeting, I forgive you with great sincere. 

    You did not kill me, you provided me the opportunity to live a fulfilling and fruitful life. 

    I now walk around in the pleasantry of the heavens where there is no violence, bigotry, distinction, hatred, ridicule, nor identity aversion. 

    We all look alike through the eyes of God, or whichever higher power you believe in. Or whichever higher power you do not believe in.

    We only look different when we see others through individual lens, whereas in most cases these lenses could be distorted by family, lovers, acquaintances, or other affiliating or societal factors.

    To my killer, I wholeheartedly and sincerely forgive you.

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    #MichaelBrown #TanishaAnderson #GabbyPetito #TheDeathof #TheDeathofSoldiers #TheDeadButNotForgotten #June6th2021 #Respectfully #Death #Life #2019 #2020 #2021 #2022 #COVID #DaunteWright #GeorgeFloyd #BreonnaTaylor #AndreHill #ManuelEllis #RayshardBrooks #DanielPrude #AtatianaJefferson #AuraRosser #StephonClark #BothanJean #PhilandroCastile #AltonSterling #FreddieGray #JanishaFonville #EricGarner #MichelleCusseaux #AkaiGurley #GabreiellaNevarez #TamirRice

    What would you say to the person or something that is a result of your death?

    What if you could speak for a person or loved one who were not provided with this opportunity? What do you think he or she would say?

    Write your letter.

    Please share your comments on my YT posting.

    Thanks for reading and watching.

  • Better Health Equates to Being or Becoming a Better You, Inside and Out – PART II

    I know I said I would report back in 10 days to report the results from the Master Cleanse, but I decided to extend the diet a few more days. Yesterday, after 14 days, two weeks, I finished the lemonade diet, the Master Cleanse. Though not fully taking my hand off the reset button, I will continue with alcohol absence until the end of June. I must say that mentally preparing myself for this journey made the process that much easier. The diet consisted of no food intake at all. You start with a flush of either warm salt water or an herbal detox tea. For me, I opted for the detox tea, of which I boiled two tea bags in water and added a bit of maple syrup for sweetener and drank it the night before the diet kicked off. I must say, come sunrise, the flush began. It is recommended that you stay home all day while doing the tea flush whereas, the flush is real. 

    For the saltwater flush, the flush usually starts about 30 minutes to an hour after you chug down the drink and is recommended that it be consumed on an empty stomach, meaning, in the morning before breakfast. 

    I opted for the tea as it usually takes a few hours to kick in as it methodically and systematically flushes you, resulting in an explosive experience.

    For the first few days, I felt fine. I didn’t miss food or anything and stuck to the regimen of drinking three glasses of 16 oz of the lemonade concoction daily. 

    I must say, the one thing that I did not give up was a morning cup of coffee, of which I added maple syrup for sweetener and not the granulated sugars.

    By day 5, I was down 8 pounds and was loving it. I started to feel lighter. I didn’t feel bloated. I began to feel a sense of rejuvenation. My skin looked clearer. I slept better, and my mental health had seemingly improved. I only felt anxious a couple of times, and that was because of schoolwork, thinking that I had not completed a task when I was ahead of myself in work. I did not crave anything, not even alcohol, as I didn’t miss the glass of wine I’d usually luxuriate over after a hard day’s work.

    I started to feel good about myself. I was not upset that I had gotten the heaviest I had ever been in my entire life. I came to a realization that it was not a setback, especially not a predictable that I could blame on someone else. This was my fault. I ate junk food, and I allowed others to stress me the hell out, which deteriorated not only how my body responded to certain situations but had dramatically slowed down my metabolism and how it processed foods. I was the blame. So, I chose to be the solution. I decided to take matters into my own hands and will continue to do so by losing the weight and maintaining it. My daily calorie intake will stay at or below the recommended daily allowance. For my body, to date, is 2000 calories, but 1500 calories, a caloric deficit, to maintain my current body weight or to lose one pound in a matter of one week. I still have four pounds to go, so 1500 calories it is, and I should be where I need to be by the end of July 2021.

    My weigh-in dates while on the Master Cleans were as follows:

    • Day 1 = 06/07 @ 164 lbs. – I went and got an essential Vitamin IV-Drip and Whole-Body Cryotherapy (WBC) 
    • Day 3 = 06/09 @ 160 lbs.
    • Day 7 = 06/13 @ 156 lbs.
    • Day 10 = 06/16 @ 153 lbs.
    • Day 11= 06/17 @ 152 lbs. – I went and got an essential Vitamin IV-Drip, CryoSlimming, and WBC
    • Final Day, Day 14 = 06/20 @149 lbs. 

    While not reaching my goal weight of 145 in a matter of two weeks, in total, I lost 15 lbs., between sizes 2 and 4. I still have this stubborn belly fat that refuses to leave no matter how strenuous my workouts or diets. I mean, I still have a flat tummy, but there is still a bit of jiggle and an invasion of my waistline. A good 5-10 lbs. that I could live without. I just started the CryoSlimming procedure, so we’ll see what that does. Based on reports, it takes a few sessions and weeks to months to see actual results. Reports have shown that fat has been cryo-eliminated won’t return. I’ll just have to wait and see. 

    Now comes the eating healthily and toning process.

    Today I started the process of easing off Master Cleanse. This process entails following a daily regimen, whereas, on Monday, Day 1 – ONLY drink several 8 oz of freshly squeezed Orange Juice. Drinking the lemonade concoction is not necessary.

    Tuesday, Day 2- Add vegetable soup to diet. My preference is tomato and basil soup. I will do this for two days even though it is recommended that it be done in one day. So, this will be my Day 2 and Day 3.

    Wednesday, Day 3 = eat only fresh fruit and raw vegetables. I have created a vegetable medley of carrots, broccoli, celery, cucumbers, and tomatoes—no dipping sauce. I will do this for two days, drinking OJ only in the morning to help support my digestive system. I will then have a bowl of soup for lunch and fresh fruit or raw veggie medley for dinner. This will be my Day 4 and Day 5. This is also the day that I will start my morning exercise and stretching routine.

    Thursday, Day 4 – Eat regularly, small portions while avoiding dairy products, processed foods, and eating very little meat. This will be my Day 6. Morning exercise and stretching will continue.

    The big question is, what would be my first typical meal. Well, while I have been yearning to get back to eating Indian food. I will start doing meal preps for thirty days, whereas I eat the same thing every day for one week for four weeks. 

    Week 1, Baked chicken breast, steamed broccoli, and jasmine rice. 

    Week 2, Baked salmon/fish, baked sweet potatoes, and a side salad.

    Week 3, Grilled chicken salad or Grilled chicken quinoa salad.

    Week 4 will be an assortment of choices: bunless turkey burger, shrimp & grits, chicken stir-fry, grilled chicken salad, bean soup, or whatever is in the frig/freezer.

    I don’t eat red meats or pork, so my meal plan will not include these protein options.

    The meal preparations will be similar for the following weeks. However, I will give myself a food cheat day where I can eat whatever the heck I want but will exercise for an extra 30 minutes the day of or the day after food cheat day. When I do have my food cheat day, it will only include one meal for the entire day… say around dinner time, whereas up until then, I will have one cup of trail mix or nuts for breakfast. For lunch, a small spinach salad. Come dinner time, though it will not be a home-cooked meal, it will be something sensible, dine-in or carry-out, from a restaurant of choice, as I am not a person to go to a five-star restaurant and order a salad, so it definitely won’t be a plate full of greens. However, I will incorporate a vegetable serving. Food cheat days will be every Friday evening. This includes having a nice crisp and flavorful alcoholic beverage that is low in calories. What are some suggestions?

    When I do decide to go on a junk food binge, I will do a saltwater flush the day after. The same thing goes for taking vacations. I mean, who goes on a vacation and does not enjoy the foreign cuisine or mild intoxication. 

    Regardless of such, whether a vacation or a staycation, my hand will remain on the reset button or at least hover over it. My goal from here on out is to reach my desired goal weight while sustaining my mental, physical, and emotional fitness and intelligence. Yes, I may miss out on all of the goodies, especially ice cream in the summertime, but when you have goals, you sacrifice and compromise. I intend to eat healthy, whereas my diet would consist of eating salads day in and day out. I will also not eat as much Beyond or impossible meats as they are full of sodium. Inevitably, there is always something wrong with what we eat. Even when it is said to be the healthiest, there will always be drawbacks.

    So, I have completed my set mission of losing weight but not reaching my goal weight but something close to it. To get to where I need to be, I will maintain my current weight of 149 lbs. eat fewer calories daily and lose the remainder of the weight, 4 lbs. slowly, in a matter of a month. I will also exercise more to rebuild my muscle mass and continue to get monthly multi-vitamin IV-Drips. Depending on the CryoSlimming and WBC results by month two, which will be four treatments, that will determine whether I continue treatment.

    I hope you all are doing what it is you need to do to say happy and healthy. Remember, you are the only person that could determine your health, emotionally, physically, and psychologically.

    #positiveenergy #positivevibes #positivethinking #self-care #self-happiness #physicallyfit #emotionallystable #selflove #healtierbeing #healthyeating #healthieryou #lifesatisfaction #qualityoflife #phychologicalwellbeing #eliminatenegativeruminations

  • Better Health Equates to Being or Becoming a Better You, Inside and Out

    For the past couple of months of looking in the mirror I started not to like the person that was staring back at me. 

    I felt emotionally and psychologically unhealthy so, that resulted in me looking at my physical being in a disenchanting light, even when others told me that I was beautiful. I felt fat, not PHAT which is an acronym for pretty, hot, and tempting. My self-esteem has plummeted, and I am not sure how to get it back. I had started eating unhealthily, hand-tossed pizza, Belgium waffles, fried chicken, pasta, potato chips, and soda. A major consumption was alcohol, wine, margaritas, and Moscow mules, especially during the pandemic. I have stop caring about what I ate and drank. I had stop caring about my appearance. I had become a stress eater. Something that I had never understood during younger years, but now I get it. I have never been a foodie and would often skip meals, eating once daily. I am still not crazy about food but when I do eat, the meal is far from the healthiest choice. 

    I have experienced high levels of stress and anxiety. Most of which was contributing to writing a dissertation. Well at least the first three out of five chapters. More importantly, it is what has contributed to my unhealthy and unbalanced eating habits, outside of the pandemic experience, of course. I became a closet eater and drinker. I drank and ate when no one was watching, which means I was on my way done a slippery slope to becoming obese and an alcoholic. 

    Every morning as I stepped out of the shower, I examined my physique in the mirror, witnessing firsthand how my body was transitioning from this lean, protein eating machine, to this now fluffy junk eating monster. “How could you allow yourself to reach this level of self-dissatisfaction and declivitous mental state,” I asked myself repeatedly. I also queried myself about whether my current situation, outside of the academic experience, were a major contributing factor that has led me to reaching this unhealthy and voluptuous state. However, when I assessed the situation, fingers do not point to others, but points directly toward me. I brought this on myself, irrespective to whomever else was involved. This is my body. This is a vessel that only I have control over. I control over what goes in, but not necessary what comes out.

    I had gotten upset with myself. It was so easy to put the weight on but how in the hell was I supposed to get rid of this excess weight. I mean I can’t fit most of the items in my closet and have found myself rotating wears between 2 to 3 pairs of jeans, t-shirts, and wearing spandex or active wear. There are things that I can do to circumvent the situation, but why. Buying new gear would not contribute to my happiness. I am over shopping, well at least if it means buying pants or jeans one to three sizes up. Won’t happen. My financial health is important too. Additionally, it’ll be much cheaper to lose the weight so that I can fit back into what I already own. Yep, that size 25 or 2.

    Even if I do lose the weight will that enhance my self-esteem and self-satisfaction. I don’t know but it would be a start. I asked myself the question that if I lose the weight but remain in the same situation, which will outweigh the other, the situations or the weightless circumstance. Nevertheless, I decided to embark on this weight lost journey and eliminating alcohol in its entirety, at least until I reach my goal weight of 145 (now 20 pounds heavier). 

    To give myself a jump start I decided to go on a lemonade diet for ten (10) days of no eating to jumpstart my weight loss journey. Over the next two weeks I plan on engaging in cryotherapy, Cryo-slimming, and getting nutritional IV-Drips as way to ensure that I acquire the necessary nutrition that my body need to properly function, that way during the food and calorie deficit process, I don’t experience any complications. 

    To say the least, I am 4 days into this lemonade dieting process, obtained all my vitamins and minerals via IV-Drip on day 1 and I must say, I feel amazing. I am four pounds down and look forward to the end results come day 10 of which I have not decided if I will extend the process or whether I will start on a liquid diet 10 days after, only eating soups, still no solid foods. I figured 2 lbs. a day, it will take me approximately 10 days to drop the 20 pounds that I have gained. More importantly, it will take approximately 10 days for me to get back to the mentally, physically, and emotionally healthy person that I once knew. 

    For 10 days my finger will be on the reset button of my life and my overall health. This means that I will not allow anything or anyone to come between me and my self-authenticity. I choose to get back to my self-empowering, self-motivated, self-determined, and self-disciplined self. I mean no situation or circumstance deserves to have that must power over you to where you let yourself and health go astray. 

    I am on a path back to becoming my better self and to be in better health. I don’t have any health conditions, but if I would have continued to deter from the straight and narrow path I frequently traveled, who’s to say what the situation would have led to, specifically medically and psycho-pathologically. Regardless of such, it is inevitable that undesirable and unpleasant situations or circumstances will arise. However, when it comes to dealing with these conditions they will be done in a methodical manner. Comparatively and subsequently, I plan to outright avoid any negative situations or persons or those that do not contribute to my happiness and life satisfaction. I plan to and will eliminate any persons in my life that have ill-intents and are stress-inducers. I have done it before and will never have an issue with moving forward while leaving others behind. My health is important to me. I have experienced stress and it is a cognitive inhibitor. It is also something that could lead to substantial health declinations, regardless of who’s at fault. 

    All-in-All, AuPearce/Angela is on a verge of a strategic and purposeful return, mentally, physically, and emotions. I know that this rapid weight loss program may only be temporary. However, with augmenting my mental state, eating health, and exercising regularly, I am positive that I will be able to sustain my body weight goal. 

    I wish you all a healthy, happy, and prosperous life. After 10 days I will report the weight reduction, whereas today I am current down four pounds. Let’s see if we can achieve this negative twenty mark. Let see if systematic, yet arduous, reset, and not easy, button really works. 

    A continuation of the sustainability of Mentally Winning, Physically Fit, and Emotionally Intelligent.

    #positiveenergy #positivevibes #positivethinking #self-care #self-happiness #physicallyfit #emotionallystable #selflove #healtierbeing #healthyeating #healthieryou #lifesatisfaction #qualityoflife #phychologicalwellbeing #eliminatenegativeruminations