Today I walked into a room full of physical oppositions and no one acknowledged my presence.
The room’s lighting was dimmed and I fit into the category of being dark, being/brown black, or African American.
The oppositionists filled the room with delightful conversations, most sipping or drinking on the spirits of choice while spilling laughters in the air conditioned atmosphere.
The DJ play appropriately soft and conversational invoking music
The room is filled with meaningful engagements, connections, and physical contacts, but the experience for me is seemingly meaningless.
Men eloquently stroked their wives, girlfriends, and mistresses lower backs/waists
Women move ever so gently toward their partners upon contact.
Direct and incidental eye contact is inevitable
My mere presence shifted the dynamics of the room. Party-goers and socializers began starring at me with piercing and rolling eyes. I detect looks of disgust and lack of fortitude and complacency on their part.
The people that fill this room are not confident within themselves, as my presence has essentially forced them to question their mere presence, relationships, visibility, and current circumstance.
Women move closer to their gentlemen, holding onto them tighter
People walk back and forth between groups making snickering remarks, as a way to question and confirm my presence and appearance.
Most of the smile are now droopy, whereby transformed in to frowns.
I wear the finest gear: a D&G dress, ChristianLoub strappy sandals, Chanel clutch, updo hairstyle, flawless makeup, and while dripping in Harry Winston’s diamonds.
I glide across the floor minding my business, making my way to bar.
Trying to strike up a conversation with persons standing nearby presented complexity.
Attempting to converse with the persons during mealtime was equally distasteful and difficult, as I was ignored.
After dinner, further maneuvering around the room provided me the ability to observe individuals in their true light.
I have been granted the opportunity to see others in the thickness and thinness of their skin and with and without sin.
I never considered myself to be a wallflower, but I could not help but plant an observational and listening seed here and there. Presenting to be actively engaged on my mobile phone, I heard rude comments. People clearing my standing space as not wanting to stand near me, as if I had an odor or stench.
I was not judging others for who they are.
I was not bothered by there rudeness.
I was not judging others based on their mere presence, as everyone looked ravishing.
I was not judging others based on who they were with, even though most where not with their spouse, but other sorts.
I was not judging others based on their alcoholic intake for the evening (opened bar), even though some individuals were already leaning to one side, swaying, slurring, and staggering.
What I was judging, was how they treated one another, myself for that matter.
The crowd presented before me were predominately opposite of me, nonblacks and black fakery, fictitiousness, and foolery.
During dinner, when I sat at the table with two empty seats opposite me. At the same table, others, men or women, never made eye contact with me but conversed amongst themselves.
The waiters/waitresses were hesitate to serve me or remove my empty dinnerware and unused flatware.
My drink orders took a bit longer to arrive to the table.
After dinner, music started as a way to bring everyone to the dance floor to burn off the excessive calories they had just consumed. The first song to be played was “Single Ladies” by Beyonce.
Single women and some men (and some attached) gravitated to the dance floor moving their bodies effortfully at the perimeters of the dance floor as a way to be seen by gentlemen constituents and by those already taken/married. They ensured that their availability was recognized.
Mixed into the “Single Ladies” anthem, other songs representative of people like me attracted the attention of people in opposition of me and my physical appearance.
By the third song the dance floor was flooded with dancers doing the jig and two-step.
I smiled and watched while others enjoyed themselves.
I summoned the waiter over for another beverage, GreyGoose martini with a blue cheese olive, dirty.
You refuse physical engagement and converse with me even on the low scale, and others like me, but you dance so effortlessly to music sung by people like me.
On your trips to the Caribbean Islands, Africa, or other countries that are representative of people like me or consider minority, you dance to the beats of our drum.
You effortfully pay for body transformation to look voluptuous and sultry.
You effortfully pay for lip injections/fuller lips and rounder hips.
You intentionally bask in sun to darken your skin complexion, go to tanning booths, or get spray tans to look similar to my kind.
You fall in love with men or women that look like me but you fail to acknowledge my presence while in the vicinity of those of your own pedigree.
I think to myself. I am in a place that is meant for all persons to enjoy themselves. to be boisterous, cheerful, and spontaneous. The positive emotions should be free-flowing but for some reason, I have struck a negative cord.
I came to this event because it was a company event and all employees are welcome.
I came to this event because it was an event to celebrate all employees regardless of the backgrounds or demographics or affiliation or prejudices. This is an all-inclusive company after all.
I came to this event uninvited, but self invited-not a crasher.
I came to this event because I sponsored it
I came to this event because it was paid for by myself
I came to this event because I am the boss and everyone here works for me.
I came to this event because I am the behind the scenes BOSS that felt the need to come to the forefront.
I came to the event because I trust another person to be the hiring manager and to elicit and all inclusive workforce, but from what I can see, its onesided, lopesided.
I came to the event because I personally knew that the hiring manager was going to be absent. the one person that always made the speeches at every event.
I walked over the the DJ booth and informed him of my presence and who I was and asked him for the microphone.
He lowered the music and the attention of everyone in the room was directed toward me.
“Good evening everyone. Is everyone having a good time?” Low response rate.
“I felt that it was necessary for me to introduce myself given the reactions that I have been receiving from you all the entire evening. The social disconnected, dismissal, rude and biased comments, and distancing yourselves. My name is Au’Pearce, the President and CEO of this organization, and your boss. Please continue enjoying the rest of your evening.” I handed the microphone based to the DJ and walked through the crowd while stepping on some of the faces that had just hit the floor. I exited the room, walking toward my security who’d been waiting for me the entire evening. Without looking back, I disappeared.
First person to be fired. The hiring manager.
Au'Pearce 