Au'Pearce

Tag: death with dignity

  • Relationships Toxicity & Detoxification

    Relational toxicity is about you being in a relationship and not having any direction of which way to go in life and lacking the necessary self-assurance and self-worth, and self-actualization.

    Being in a self-isolating and self-manipulating relationship is one of the worst types of relationships that one could ever experience. In particular, when you have developed an anti-escapism attitude or mindset. 

    You may feel as though you do not have the mental capability to escape relational toxicity, which is mentally draining and can significantly lead to increased bouts of anxiety, stress, and depression. 

    Too often, we are the persons that get in the way of ourselves, feeling dazed and confused.

    Too often, we are a result of our own diminished self-worth. 

    Too often, we are the person that is holding us back from achieving a particular goal, completing specific tasks, or reaching our fullest potential that yields the process of us becoming self-authenticated or individualized.

    Too often, we try to blame others when we face shortcomings or life challenges resulting in setbacks. However, when examining the reality, it has been you sitting on your hands, having two left feet, allowing your blessings to pass you by, or digging ourselves in deeper holes without a rope, ladder, or lifeline. 

    Too many times, we look to others to save us from ourselves. 

    But when are you going to start saving yourself? 

    We, as humans, fail. 

    We, as humans, fall to victimization instead of succumbing to the realization that we are your own master of your universe. You are in the driver’s seat. You are responsible for your own life, no one else.

    Let me ask you a question.

    If you could trust anyone in the world, a physical being, to be a narrator of your life, who would it be?

    Be mindful that you are an option in these limitless or limited possibilities. 

    It’s comical that so many people try to instill in you that life is worth living, but how is that acceptable when the person or persons telling you that they have yet to live.

    Instead, they live vicariously through other people, not having experienced their true self or knowing what they want out of life or how to get there. 

    So, can these persons really tell you how you should live or maneuver your way through life when they lack direction themselves?

    Probably not.

    Maneuvering through life is more than being in toxic or even healthy relationships. 

    Successfully maneuvering through life is all about self-purification. This means getting rid of all the toxins in your body, inside and out. 

    Yes, this means working from the inside out. 

    You have to be mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally ready inside. 

    This way, you can develop the mental strength to move external factors that are toxic without guilt.

    Life is about living. 

    Life is about inevitably coming into contact with toxic individuals. 

    But life is all about you knowing how and having the strength to remove yourself from those situations.

    Life is about believing in yourself and a higher power, or otherwise. 

    It’s a fact that different spiritualities and religious believers believe that their God is distinct, and one has more power than the others. It does not matter. The only thing that matters is that you accept and stand in your faith and truth. 

    When you stand with your feet planted firmly in your truth and belief, all toxic relationships that you are in will start to wither away. 

    Righteous pathways will be set before you. 

    Unlocked and opened doors and windows will be presented to you. 

    Relational detoxification is about you removing specific individuals from your life so that you can become self-assured and self-actualized.

    Overcoming self-isolating and self-manipulating relationships are about shifting your mindset to escape or free yourself from those situations.

    Developing that mental capability to escape relational toxicity is about cognitive intelligence and psychological and emotional strength.   

    Let no one be a cognitive proprietor that results in you having increased bouts of anxiety, stress, and depression. 

    Stop feeling dazed and confused and find yourself.

    Find your self-worth and embrace it. 

    Stop holding yourself back and set realistic, measurable, and achievable goals. 

    Complete specific tasks, never letting anything go undone, especially if it aids in your becoming a better you. 

    Reach for the stars. 

    Engage in activities that will assist you in reaching your fullest potential, those that foster self-authenticated or individualized.

    Toxic relationships are not the fault of the persons you are with or the persons you are around. 

    Toxic relationships are a two-way street. For it to end, one person must dismiss themselves or leave the situation. 

    Let that person be you.

  • LETTER TO MY KILLER

    This is a letter directed at the person or thing that killed me with or without cause.

    On the day of my death, I never thought that when I woke up this morning it would be my last day on earth. 

    I never thought that my life would be taken by a person who was cowardly or fearful of an individual who had reason to live. 

    I never thought that my life would be taken by a person who have found their purpose, or by someone that was still looking for their purpose and place in life.  A person who was still trying to figure things out and find his or her direction. 

    Yes, I may have made mistakes along the way but those were supposed to be lessons learned. Those were supposed to be mishaps that maneuvered my direction down a righteous path. 

    The day or night that you came into my life, we could have been the best of friends, we could have shared experiences, emotions, and life’s challenges. 

    I was young striving to be the best, never looking to hurt or cause pain to another person or their family. 

    Your life shattering and unworldly act caused me and others pain, grieve, dismay.

    But regardless of such cruelty, we will forever be. We will remain alive and well, happy, in fact, while still caring, and sharing. We will continue to be physically and mentally present regardless of someone like you who will or may carry out a devilish act because you had a bad day.

    Because life has thrown you a curve ball.

    Because you were fearful or intimidated by my mere presence. 

    Because you did not get your way.

    Because someone did or said something that was not to your liking or approval.

    Shortly after you killed me, my family, friends, and those who never had the pleasure to know me, had to silently watch as I was lowered into the earth, dust to dust, again becoming a part of its immaculate core. 

    You, my killer, gave me life even though you took it away from me. 

    You, my killer, have uplifted most people spirits globally, as most people around the world now love me and celebrates the short life that I had the opportunity to live. 

    You my friend, my killer, transitioned from a man of God to a cold-hearted killer, who’s presence will forever be in vain.

    My killer, a life-snatcher, a murderer, and a person I thought was my friend or lover, or confidant, or a friend-in-my-head, you stole my life, and you may feel as though you have accomplished something in life. 

    But even though I lie restfully and chillingly in my grave, you still face life challenges.

    You are still fearful of those who look and act like me, or those who don’t let you have your way. 

    You are still traveling down wavering and uneven roads. 

    You will continually face your guilt of evil behaviors, knowing that you cannot reverse or change the situation. 

    You, will always know that you are the one who acted inhumane, unnecessarily stealing the life of another human.  

    No, I will not haunt you. 

    No, I am not mad at you.

    No, I wish you no harm.

    However, I do wish you the best, as I am not the person that you will have to answer to when it is your turn to leave the amazing world that I had the pleasure of experiencing. 

    Even though you never knew me, and you never knew my name or seen my face until it was reported that I was killed. My name, face, and the date you pulled the trigger or took my life will forever remain in your head and will taunt you for the rest of your life. Your behaviors may even implicate your career and life trajectories.

    Needless to say, even though you have been swept into societal turmoil and felt that what you did was ok, I do not hold a grudge against you. 

    My friend, you, the person which whom I may or may not have never had the pleasure of meeting, I forgive you with great sincere. 

    You did not kill me, you provided me the opportunity to live a fulfilling and fruitful life. 

    I now walk around in the pleasantry of the heavens where there is no violence, bigotry, distinction, hatred, ridicule, nor identity aversion. 

    We all look alike through the eyes of God, or whichever higher power you believe in. Or whichever higher power you do not believe in.

    We only look different when we see others through individual lens, whereas in most cases these lenses could be distorted by family, lovers, acquaintances, or other affiliating or societal factors.

    To my killer, I wholeheartedly and sincerely forgive you.

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    What would you say to the person or something that is a result of your death?

    What if you could speak for a person or loved one who were not provided with this opportunity? What do you think he or she would say?

    Write your letter.

    Please share your comments on my YT posting.

    Thanks for reading and watching.

  • Final Days

    Have you ever really sat back and thought about what your final days would look like or whether you had a day in your last days on earth, let along your final resting space? I have. 

    Just a few months ago, I sat down and had a conversation with my daughter about death. I told her that if for any reason I ended up in the hospital on my death bed and doctors told her, my son, or husband, that there was nothing else that they could do for me and that I would die eventually, I wanted her to make the decision to immediately pull the plug, no life support for me. No DNR on my behalf. I also stated that if there were a chance of my survival, but the outcome would leave me in a vegetated state, I do not want to live in that capacity, and I would NOT, under any circumstances, want to be a burden to her and her brother, nor my husband. I’d rather Die with Dignity, as opposed to slipping away knowing that I will be burdensome to my children or other family members. I would rather Die with Dignity, knowing that close relatives have a long life ahead of them and that my condition was holding them back from reaching their full potential and living their life to the fullest. 

    Death with Dignity is defined as terminally-ill persons requesting and receiving euthanization from a licensed medical practitioner with legal rights to administer such medication. It is a painless form of early and voluntary expiration. The process is deliberate and irreversible. This procedure is available to persons who are subjected to incurable diseases and not those who suffer from chronic pain or some other form of illness. A licensed medical doctor determines whether patients qualify for such treatment. The treatment would rarely be offered. It is also a rarity that the treatment is requested. Patients become aware of such physician-assistive dying practices and procedures through specialty clinics, those in which they themselves or their family members may seek and find.

    The Death with Dignity Act (DDA) is legal in various U.S. states, i.e., California, Oregon, District of Columbia, Maine, Hawaii, Vermont, Washington, Colorado, New Mexico, Montana, and New Jersey, and various countries, 28 countries to be exact, those including Spain, Australia, Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands, Uruguay, just to name a few. Other U.S. states and countries are slowly adopting the DDA, thus implementing physician-assistant dying practices into laws. However, it is a known fact that terminally-ill persons will travel from non-physician-assistant-dying states or countries to states or countries where such a method has been legalized. One fundamental reason a terminally ill person seeks such assistance is to essentially “die with dignity.” This means not reaching a point in their lives where they can no longer take care of themselves entirely or becoming solely dependent on others for the caregiving and daily essential activities and exercises.

    It is incontestable most terminally ill patients have raised their children to the best of their ability but, does this mean that their children are responsible for returning the favor. It is inevitable that you will come into this world in infant form, not do for yourself and depend on others to feed, bathe, and clothe you. However, is that how older adults wish to go out in this world, with a lack of dignity and self-sovereignty or autonomy.

    Most people would likely agree that going out of this world in a desolate and despondent manner is not at the top of their list. Correspondingly, they would also forego the option of being a burden to others, particularly family members. Nevertheless, most family members are the persons that will have your best interest at heart and provide quality care, even if they have not undergone any professional training to obtain certification or license. Moreover, terminally ill persons are more likely to live with relatives and not in assistive-living community-dwellings. More importantly, the reason for familial in-home care is due to the fees associated with assistive-living facilities for seniors, as most persons or families cannot afford these services, and insurance may not cover treatments as such. Respectively, most people or families who could afford to place their parents or terminally ill family member, senior or not, may not gain comprehension of the mental and emotional drainage and strains that family caregivers endure. 

    Ascertaining a healthy cognitive state, terminally-ill individuals have the mental capacity to take it upon themselves to make their own end-of-life decisions or have some say in how things will be done or won’t be done. It’s understood that partaking in the euthanasia process can be psychologically complexing and may go against family morals, values, and beliefs. In some countries, it is the younger family member’s duty to take care of their elderly parents or grandparents. However, is this a primary contributor to some young women’s lack of education or life success?

    This is not to suggest that terminally-ill laypersons should seek physician-assistive expiry. Afterall, living to one’s fullest is the ultimate goal of actually living a full and satisfying life. It is to point out that most incurably and adversely ill persons would rather die with dignity. It is to posit that taking care of a sickly person is not easy. This goes for family members or those licensed and certified care professionals. You must be mentally, emotionally, and physically robust and unwavering. Taking care of others who fall into a fragile and dependent state is a tough job. Let no one tell you differently. It implicitly and explicitly takes a significant toll on a caregiver’s personal well-being and happiness. It could even drastically affect their health, as in frequent cases, caregivers forget to take care of themselves, thus engaging in self-care activities.

    So, come your final days, there is a wealth of information to consider. Make decisions now, financially, and how and where you want to occupy your final resting place. Engage in the decision-making processes that have to do with your last days. Make choices. Talk about your death with family members. Death is the most highly avoided conversation ever because people are uncomfortable talking about the inevitable, “death.” As I stated before, if I become susceptible to being in a vegetated state or fall terminally ill, I highly recommend my family members honor my wishes. 

    What about you? What are your end-of-life wishes? Have you really taken the time to consider it?