What does another month mean to you?
To me another month means one step closer to another year. Here we come 2021 and another step closer to obtaining a doctor status and identity. This year, 2020, seemed that everyday ran into each other, given that we have had to face physical and social restriction. Don’t get me wrong, I love being at home, so being home suited me well.
Self-Induced Stress, Anxiety, and Depression
As I got busier with school works, house chores, and other projects, and more, I noticed a shift in my mental state and attitude. I found myself feeling a bit uncertain. I noticed that my attitude and behaviors were changing for the worst. I noticed that even though I love being home, being home for too long can take a toll on you mentally and physically. Yep, I gained a couple of pounds as well which now makes me look at myself differently. For a couple of months now, I have contributed to my self-induced stress and anxiety, which has started to transform into a depressive state, or bipolarism. Because I started to take on more than I should have, I these various projects shifted me. Wine use to settle my nerves, but when I noticed that I was consumng more wine than I should. Somewhere around three o’clock, I poured up a tall glass of wine and sat in front of the computer screen and television and contiued to work.
Henceforth, Dinner was always ready around six o’clock even though some days I didn’t eat whereby leaving the filled plate sitting on the table.
I noticed that I started to fill the void with wrong things, things that were debilitating and sometimes becoming angry at my choices and myself in its entirety. Being stressed or depressed is real and I am here to testify that we bring these situations on ourselves, because we take on more than we can bare, we are too busy thinking about what others think of us; we are too busy trying to please others, some who don’t have our best interest, and we don’t say no, which results in us doing things that we don’t want to or have not interest in doing.
Change Is in The Making
In September I have decided to take back my mental health and physical well-being. I have decided that it is my ultimate responsibility to take back my life and be there person that I want desire to be. I have decides that I am culpable for my life choices and behaviors. Here are a list of things that I decide to change, starting with a complete transformation of ME. There are the steps that I will engage in to take back my life and to become a better ME:
It all starts with, ME, by doing the following:
- Shift gears. Shifting gears means transforming myself internally and externally. I am tired of riding in neutral or riding in the passenger seat of others. Now is the time for me to take the wheel, as this is the only way that I will be able to research my desired destination.
- Sustain a positive mentality and aura. I have been so negative lately. Speaking negative about myself and relationship, my capabilities and skills. Deep down inside I knew and know that this was not the person I was supposed to be portraying. This was not me intrinsically. I have started to believe others definitions of me and who I was supposed to be. Some of these feelings stemmed from the BLM movement. Allowing others to tell me what I cannot do or shouldn’t do was only a method to steer me off my path, to hold me back, and restrict me from moving forward. I have eliminated that negative energy from my life and for whomever tell me that I am not worthy will not be a part of my life or inner/soical circle. This is the time that everyone in the world should want to go places, as tomorrow is not promised to anyone, even those in good health. We are here today and gone tomorrow. The elimination of negativity can transition you life in righteous ways and take you places mentally and physcally that you never thought were possible.
- Set Goals and follow through. There is nothing like settings goals and not putting forth the effort to spring them into action. We all desire to be better humans. We all have an innate desire to be more social. Setting goals means that your are seeking life longevity, to release your negative inner thoughts, to be your true and authentic self, so become more educated, start your own company, or whatever you desire to be. Setting goals means writing them down and putting them in a place where you have a constant reminder. Don’t write them down and then file them away. Write them down and leave it out, visibly and coherently. Writing down goals mean that you are being realistica about what it is you want to accomplish. Never set goals to high where you know for yourself that they are impossible. Goals are meant to be fulfilled and edits if necessarily. Its not a crime to set the bar high, but reach a certain level and then turn it up a notch, thus it becomes a new goal. Setting goals means that know what is important and you order them not only in the order of importance, but in the order in which you have available resources. Setting goals is not a hard task. Setting goals does not means you have to write them all down in a single day. Setting goals that does not mean that you have to fulfill them all in a single day. Setting goals means that you don’t look or wait for others to tell you what you need to do. Setting goals means you know what you want in life and you know what you need to do-and not do-to get there.
- Being more assertive. Telling people how I feel and what I want is long overdue. I have been the person to go with the flow as long as its something that does not go against my morals and values or violate my ethics, boundaries, and mental state. Telling others what you want and how you feel does not have to be done in a disrepectful manner, as the delivery should be constructive and respectful. It should also be transparent and concerting. Telling others what you want does not have to start a fight or transform friendships or relationships into enemy-ships. We all know what we want and know what we need to do to make ourselves happy first. If no one can respect that, then that person or thing do not belong in your life. Move on.
- Continuing my education and use my skills to teach others. I have been in school for the past fourteen years and I have obtained a number of degrees, certifications, and knowledge. I have been employed a Fortune 500 companies, and I appreciate my personal experiences. However, I have reached a point in my life to where its time to give back. I have been focusing on the underpresented and underserved population, digital divides, and inequities. I have learned that astuteness and skills should never go to waste and should be shared and passed on to teach others. To open a new door for those that come behind you or desire to be a better person in life. I have learned that it is not always the individuals fault, as sometimes society is to blame where people with great potential are held back due to impecunous situations and circumstances. I learned that me as an individual need to do better, and know that I can do better.
- Give back. This goes back to me giving back to those that follow in my footsteps and for those who lack appropriate guidance and steering. Acquiring a high educational level should not go to waste, as it can and should be used for the benefit of others. This means sharing my experiences and knowledge. This means putting myself out there in the world for people to see, even that naysayers and haters. It is not until you have haters that you know that you have made it. So, with that, they will only be the fuel that continues to light the fire within me.
- Write more. I started this blog only a few months ago but I want to do more. I have started to engage in various writing activities that will allow me to be noticed as a reputable scholar, hence submitting writings to journal articles for publication. I have started to write a fiction-based book, as well as a Self Help book that will aid in others becoming their authentic self, as not becoming the person that you yearn to be is not the fault of others. Not being or becoming the person that you yearn to be is because you have done what is necessary to get there.
- Collaborate. I have started to seek out collaborative opportunities with others who share my same interests. This will not only help my academic reputation, but will aid with collaboration with others in publications and empirical research, it will open doors to new adventures.
This is a new month, going on a new year, and they will continue with or without us present. If you want to leave a footprint, other than a digital one, then [I]we have to start to make the necessary moves in order to do that. Whatever it was that has held you back from reaching your full potential let it go. Set goals, change your mindset, surround yourself with positive influencers, and go-getters. Stop settling for your current existence especially when you know your potential. We must always remember that a new you mean being a better you. You attract the energy that you put out. You are responsible for your own life and journey. Make the most of it even if it means being selfless and sharing your experiences and what you have learned throughout the years.
What are some things that you wish to accomplish this year?
Au'Pearce 