Never allow a single new year to be a determining factor of how you individually define the new you. The definition of you should change daily.
Dr. Angela Pearce
-HNY 2025
Author: Au’Pearce
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Happy New Year – 2025, meet the new and modifiable You.
When the clock struck 11:59 p.m. on December 31, 2024, and individuals across the globe began the sixty-second countdown descent to start a New Year, 2025, many made a New Year’s resolution (NYr).
What was your NYr?
While the future, all days, from one to the next, remains abstruse, do you think your NYr is quantitatively measurable (QM) and eminent?
A QM goal can result from weight loss/gain through calculated caloric intake, hours of workout or days of attending a gym, incrementation or diminutions of body mass index (BMI), or scale readings. NYr can result from masterfully completing professional quarterly goals and projects exceeding client expectations. Comprehensively, most fail to understand the quantitativeness of people, persons that are beneficial to your life or detrimental. In every new year, in every day, second, minute, and hour, you will be forced to people purge. You may even find advantages in acquiring new affiliations while losing others. To elevate in life, you must eliminate the crabs in the barrel that continue to try and drag you down. These are only selfish persons and individual thinkers who may ostensively fail to realize that if you altruistically allow others to stand on your back to reach newer and rewarding heights, it will only result in them lending a helping hand to help you; the bold and brave get to where they are striving to be. However, the issue is determined by weight and circumferences.
A man or woman cannot pull another man or woman up if they continue to bear unnecessary weight or the weight of others.
Measurable goals are anything you deem computable, a personal improvement only you can decipher, and one that does not warrant the validation or confirmation of others. That said, you should never allow others to set your personal goals, let alone tell you what your NYr should be or even monitor it. Your NYr and life goals should only be set by you and only you, regardless of whether they are set before, at the onset, or amid any new year. These are accomplishments that only you can fulfill without the aid of someone else.
Unfortunately, QM does not comprise of you requisitely or compulsorily signing up for a gym membership, mainly because nothing suggests you will indeed “go to the gym” to improve YOUR health and overall well-being.
I have personally witnessed others go to the gym simply to “show up,” only wanting to opportunistically present to others and letting them think they are working on their mental, physical, biological, and physiological health.
If you immerse yourself in trying to fulfill your NYr, you must ask yourself a viable question: will you be able to determine progress and personal altitude after a while?
Is your QM goals something that will result in you changing for the better, namely for yourself and not necessarily for others?
The more important question of the final seconds of the year should have resulted in you deciding what you planned on leaving in 2024 and which life situations and circumstances would simultaneously transition from one second to the next, stepping into a new year. Who and what will you leave behind? What will you sacrifice at the transient moment, that will result in your eliminating unnecessary baggage? Ephemerally, pastimes are moments no one can ever get back, as they will only be memories. So, when the transitory period presented itself, going from 11:59:59 p.m. on 12/21/2024 to midnight on 01/01/2025, that narrowed second should have been the most meaningful and intentional.
At the onset of the New Year, these were moments when individuals passionately kissed persons they could spend the rest of their lives with. They were given the advantage of kissing the persons they loved dearly and wholeheartedly, without prejudice or mystification. They hugged and cheered with perfect strangers, nameless individuals they may never see again. Some popped the most expensive bottles of champagne or drank sparkling juices and everything in between. For me, and I am sure for some others, they slept through the New Year. In the boldest cases, some never lived to see the new year.
To all the people in the world, whether you celebrated the New or not and regardless of if you made an NYr. I hope and pray that this year is filled with positive changes, prosperity, reflections, new connections, remembrances or memorable moments, and lessons learned from previous years and experiences and years to come.
Life is short, and too often, we become too wrapped up in ourselves, never realizing that the only we strive and thrive in life is by standing on the shoulders of others and engaging with others who are not only smarter than the average bear but possess intelligence, integrity, resilience, wit, perseverance, and fortitude.
A new year has been significantly integral to others for decades or even centuries. The centrality of a new year is others hoping and wishing they will become a year older. But most fail to realize that some never reach that accumulative year that the new year has to offer, whether it means becoming a year older or a better you. Instead, their lives are short-lived. Aforethought for the new year is to hyperfocus your thoughts and emotions on the prospect that we live by the second and that every minute, hour, or day is not promised to anyone. When you are called home, there is nothing you or anyone can say or do to change your Lord and Savior’s decision. His decision is final. And although you may question it, he does not owe you an answer. This year, focus on being hopeful and live a life where your choices and decisions will be affectively positive. Never allow any person to interrupt your inner peace and tranquility.
In the new year, regardless of whether you live up to your NYr, know that you are the only person you should hold accountable. Never respond to naysayers or negativity. Never allow anyone to take you out of character. You are perfect in your own way and deserve to live the life you wish to live. You deserve change for the better, especially as it is not to the detriment of others. While it is inevitable that you cannot avoid negativity on all fronts, know that negativity fuels life fires, causing individuals to positively thrive and flourish in life.
Know that their radiating uproars demonstrated to others their heightened levels of insecurity and uncomfortableness around you. These individuals crave your attention or even the attention of others, meaning they seek validation from others due to a lack of self-validation.
In the new year, be intentional with your time and efforts because everyone is not worthy of your time and attention and does not warrant a response, as your silence is voluminous.
During the New Year, please maintain your emotional intelligence or quotient (EQ or EI), as it will supersede any noise or chaos thrown in your direction or placed in your path. Know that in this new year, 2025, you are worthy, and if no one has ever spoken highly of you before, I am here to tell you that you are beautiful. You are worthy.
You are a precious gem.
You are unique, and no matter how much people try, they can never imitate or duplicate you, and no one will ever be able to make your positive energy, especially the kinds that have developed a reputation of being contagious where every time someone sees you, or you walk into any room they smile.
So, I say to all, Happy New Year.
Welcome to your new beginning.
Welcome to your new story.
Welcome to your new chapter in life.
May your New Year be filled with love, peace, prosperity, grace, joy, and self-care.
#drpearce #🥳 #newyear #2024 #transition #prosperity #reflection
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Protected
When you know, you are beautiful and protected.
When you know that others have your back even when you are not watching or paying attention.
When you are confident and unafraid.
When you know you have a beautiful heart full of unselfish love and kindness.
When you know that God is your protector, provider, and healer.
When you know that your husband has never left your side and will forever be with you every step of the way, no matter how seamless or difficult life becomes.
When your speechlessness and absence speak volumes, overpowering any diabolical intonations or squeamish schemes and plots.
When you know what you know and don’t care about others knowing what you know, especially if others try to effortlessly disapprove or diminish your character and factual knowing.
Always know that you know what you know because, #iykyk, and there is nothing anyone can say or do to change what you know, your acquired knowledge.
#protected #unafraid #strength #grit #resilience #perseverance #gratitude #integrity #dignity #wit #unmatched-energy #hopeful #God #survivor #untamed #wife #mother #griever #humility #EI #educated #graceful #boundaries #forgiving #kind #unbiased #holidays #escape
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Holidays and Grief
For the past couple of days, I have been operating under the conditions of mentally distraughtness and functioning under disbelief. I started my day off by treating myself to breakfast. A smoked salmon bagel and scrambled eggs, if you must know. At the restaurant, I journaled and processed my thoughts and feelings to keep them from being bottled up for too long. Between client services and just before meal arrival, I sporadically and passively streamlined and used my limited social media universe as a mere distraction, scrolling through social media posts of persons I selectively followed or received notifications that they had made a new post. Most of the time, I ignored these notices because I did not care or want to be bothered, but today, I was simply looking for ways to pass the time and fast. This does not suggest that the restaurant’s atmosphere where I dined was unwelcoming or elicited depressive vibes. It was more about keeping a steady pace in life because all things pertaining to my life are still unclear, nondirectional, and inundated in mental fog and suppressed grief. However, I became bewildered and heartbroken when I came across a specific posting. My world was shaken to the core. Some suppressed emotions slipped past the preconscious gatekeeper and reached consciousness. Another tragic loss of someone I considered a dear friend and having a trusting and respectful business relationship. While my sorrow-stricken response led to reaching out to appropriate parties to confirm the loss, what was most worrisome to me were the specific persons who now have to live filled with grief, sadness, mourning, and heartbreak. This loss meant living without a husband, a father, a brother, an uncle, and a well-respected leader within an organization where all members were deemed family.
For most, losing a loved one is devastating. But losing a person amid the holiday season, suddenly and tragically, is irrefutably emotionally ruinous. This is not to diminish any hurt and pain at the onset of loss at any other time of the year because regardless of whatever day you lose a loved one, it will cause internal wounds, those that take longer to heal and those that could potentially last a lifetime. While it will seem like your life is over and has come to a screeching halt, the holidays will continue annually, faithfully, like clockwork, and mourners and griever will be forced to find ways to cope just to get through these days that are supposed to elicit holiday laughter, cheer, joy, and peace. Instead of grievers embracing such holiday greatness and positive moods, they will often find themselves self-isolating and intentionally engaging in dissociative behaviors. Even around others, they are physically present but mentally and emotionally far removed. They have a desire and urge to be alone. Griefers even aspire to dwell in their sorrow and loneliness because if they cannot spend these days with the one person they long for, they don’t want to be around anyone else.
In most cases, losing a person who you have developed a secure attachment and loving and impenetrable bond with and who has transitioned to another dimension will overwhelmingly shock your world and bring it to a complete halt. In other cases, a loss may have little to no effect on others, sparking limited emotions due to a lack of emotional connections. What this means is that with security, the pain is more piercing and penetrating. Therefore, so many things are to be considered around holidays and every day before and after. One, in particular, is acknowledging your incompetency and incompatibility in dealing with loss but also understanding that grief, mourning, and illustrations of bereavement are heterogeneous.
When knowing someone who has lost a loved one, namely those who have formed unbreakable bonds, we must respect their time, space, thoughts, and feelings. It is okay to share your condolences, even from a distance. It is even okay to stay away for a little while until the griever has the time to gather themselves and process their situation and circumstances.
Hug and console grievers only if you have already formed a secure connection with the grieving and the griever allows such contact and boundary crossing. It is important to note that grievers do not need fake or pretentious individuals in their lives at such vulnerable moments and for selfish reasons, putting on a phony façade only fictitiously demonstrating empathy and compassion when others can witness them. Therefore, it is best to keep enemies, envious persons, and naysayers out of the vicinity of the griever. Only the closest friends and family should be welcome.
Whether they cry privately or publicly, allow them to cry uninterruptedly.
If they wish to sit silently or stare into space, do interrupt.
Do not be assistant to the point of annoyance and deemed unempathetic.
Do not ask a griever for anything. More importantly, do not repetitively ask them how they are doing, if they are okay, if they have eaten, or voluntarily make or purchase their favorite meals.
Follow the griever’s lead and assist when help is requested and welcomed.
Avoid sharing memories of the loss or sentimental experiences that may cause triggers. Grievers will engage in shared and routine experiences when they are ready. So, do not force the situation.
As most grievers already know, grieving can last a little while, whereas in other cases, it can last a lifetime. So, be respectful of how a person grieves and do not assert yourself because, as mentioned earlier, all grief experiences are not the same, and each and every individual will process their grief how they see fit and not how others tell them to.
Know that holidays are the most challenging time of the year, especially when family gatherings are at the forefront and given importance.
To all persons who have experienced the loss of a loved one and are still grieving, take your time and do not rush the grief process. Do not allow others to tell you how, when, or where to grieve, mourn, or act out your bereavement. Your grief will be your personal journey, whereas you are the only person who will find ways to cope with such loss and life devastation.
Whether or not you accept it or receive it, I understand. But Merry Christmas to everyone who accepts and chooses to celebrate the holiday seasons and all those to come year-round.
#holidays #grief #loss #mourning #bereavement #loved #christmas #newyear #2024 #2025 #griever #time #death #mental health
Grief is an excuse. Grief is your excuse.
Grief is a situation that no one should ever apologize for.
Dr. ALP…
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Happy Thanksgiving ’24
Today, many people across the country are situated in homes filled with the ones they love and cherish the most. People who love them for who they are, without judgment or premeditations but unconditionally. On this day, Thanksgiving, people around the world are giving thanks. They sit around the dinner table or in group settings, sharing memorable stories and joyous experiences. Conversely, they share stories that caused them the most heartbreak and disappointment, resulting in tears and negative moods, thoughts, and emotions.
Most people think Thanksgiving is simply about giving thanks, but this day is designed for self-reflection. It is also intended to remind people across the globe to forgive and even forget. Forgiving does not mean you have to reenter unwanted or toxic relationships. Forgiving simply means that you have contentiously continued your life without some individuals.
Too often, people suppress their feelings due to the fear of facing traumatic experiences that will result in them shedding tears or being angry. People fail to forgive others for their wrongdoing and neglect, allowing those past situations to forever cast a thick dark shadow over their lives in ways that prevent them from seeing the light of situations or the good in individuals. Situations that cause them to project their negative energy on others due to its overwhelmingness. They become grudgeful, heartless, unempathetic, emotionally unavailable, and cannot show compassion. In all truth, people who do not have anything to be thankful for are broken beyond repair. Broken to the point where no one and no situation can repair them, even if it takes a lifetime. They embrace resentment and never forgive, but they also fail to consider the fact that tomorrow is not promised to anyone.
So, for this day, I beg everyone to forgive. I ask everyone to come to peace with oneself. Inner peace is something everyone deserves and can be one of the best and most self-fulfilling feelings in the world as long as you know how to accept and disapprove of anything that affects such emotional feelings.
Inner peace can happen to anyone outside of achieving any other life accomplishment.
Even if it means conversing with yourself privately and pretending the person who has done you wrong is sitting right in front of you. Release, let go, and share your thoughts, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Get them out because keeping them in is only causing more damage than good and will only damage and harm future relationships and interactions.
Today, on Thanksgiving, and every day after—for the rest of your life, free yourself from negative thoughts and emotions. Self-reflect and be thankful. Give yourself grace. Release all the bottled-up feelings you have been suppressing for years or your entire life. Cry, shout, and scream as loud as you can, regardless of who’s watching. You deserve personal freedom. When you “let go and let God,” it sets the path that allows you to live freely and unhinged.
Regardless of all you have accomplished throughout the years, surround yourself with the people you love the most. Not just on Thanksgiving but year-round. In doing so, be sure that the persons you surround yourself with reciprocate such feelings and emotions. If they do not, do not hesitate to correct the situation even if it means specific individuals become distant relatives, friends become foes or strangers, or persons who have intentionally or unintentionally, or even suspiciously withered away and fallen into the dark background or a branch that has fallen off your deeply rooted tree. Find and maintain your inner peace. Be thankful and joyous. From here on out, be intentional and deliberate in your actions and behaviors. Even if you are spending Thanksgiving alone, voluntarily or involuntarily, this is your way of getting back to yourself, self-reflecting, and evaluating the reality of life, love, death, friendships, family, and all persons you want to respectfully involve in your life and knowing that they too wholeheartedly and undoubtedly want you in their lives as well.
Outside of giving thanks around the dinner table, use this time to share information or ask questions that fall outside the scope of Thanksgiving. Ask yourself, “What is one thing you have regretted your entire life?” But also divulge intimate details of how you will address the situation moving forward because what is more concerning is your hidden regrets have ultimately dampened your mood and spirit. Addressing such regrets now will make you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
I wish you all the best.
Huge hugs to the persons you love and are thankful for.
But more importantly, hug the persons you feel need it the most. In rare cases, these could be strangers or persons you have known for a lifetime.
If no one has told you already, YOU are magnificent, beautiful, brave, courageous, inspiring, talented, perspicacious, resilient, and demonstrate the qualities to persevere.
You are in control of your own destiny.
Allow no one to deter or steer you wrong or down paths filled with turmoil, disappointment, and unnecessary obstacles.
Happy Thanksgiving to you all. More specifically, Happy Thanksgiving to all persons who have positively influenced my life and assisted and supported me in overcoming tumultuous and devastating situations, difficult times, and many unforeseen circumstances. THANK YOU to all persons who have been my teachers, motivators, leaders, positive reinforcers, cheerleaders, my rocks, emotional foundation, and support system, and those who have principally guided me in and out of uncharted territory in ways that can help me reposition and find my place in life.
FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, THANK YOU AND HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
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Happy birthday honey
Today, I say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my husband, Eric—the love of my life.
The one human being who will forever have my heart.
I send these birthday wishes hoping and praying that today is one of the most happiest days of your life and that you spend this day with all persons with which you have established quality connections.
I know you are still within and around me, protecting, balancing, guiding, and grounding me. Your everlasting presence is what I live for. Knowing you are still by my side, I will continue to celebrate your birthday and the day I have proclaimed your day. Today, you get to do any and everything you choose, even if it means doing nothing at all.
Today, I love you more than I loved you yesterday, and my love for you strengthens each second, minute, and hour of the day. I will never forget and cherish the time we shared.
For most, birthdays are another special day, but today, I celebrate your birthday differently. I celebrate your birthday selfishly, only wanting it to be you and me, not wanting to share you with anyone else. But because I am forced to share you with the universe, I still celebrate you and only you on this day.
I miss you with every fiber of my being. I am still in love with you and will forever love you wholeheartedly. Know that no one in this world could ever take your place.
To my dearly and spiritually beloved husband, Happy Birthday.
Au'Pearce 